Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you win again, gameday.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
