my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
