just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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