Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
