my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize