I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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