youre lurking in front of me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize