Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
