i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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