if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
