I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
