Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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