How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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