Its about making memories worth repressing
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
