So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize