I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
