gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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