How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
