All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
