is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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