The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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