The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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