where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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