i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
