He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
