Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
