Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
