Duck Duck Cougar?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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