I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
