He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
