CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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