we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
