I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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