My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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