my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
now i know why i became what i already was.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
