Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
