I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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