i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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