Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
