how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
