This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
