Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
