The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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