Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
