I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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