the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i think my cat just said my name.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
