the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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