I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
