bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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