Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I found somebody to have a 3 sum with

(586): View more from Michigan

shutup! Who?!?

(248): View more from Michigan

Hahaha April fools!

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(515): View more from Iowa

brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.

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(530): View more from California

There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.

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(845): View more from New York

dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?

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