Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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