We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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