You're completely useless in the revolution.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
