Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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