That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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