Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize