I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
did i walk over a car last night?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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