I need help removing her.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
