I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize